My quest to find a great school for Ben has lead to me touring the open houses for several of the local private K-8 schools. A couple of disclaimers: I'm the product of public school for K-12th grade. A few friends attended the local Catholic school, but I never met a prep school kid until I went to Northwestern. As an awkward 8th grader, I did beg my mom to send me to Catholic high school. Despite being taught by nuns for K-college (all girls, by the way), my mom brushed me off knowing that I was a moody, very awkward pre-teen. So, my impressions of prep school were based solely on The Dead Poet's Society, which I saw when I was a junior in high school. I had a few friends who attended prep school at NU, but never gave it much thought. My husband, who went to private school for K-8, provided my next glimpse into the world of New England's elite educational institutions. The more I heard from him, the more it seemed too out-of-reach, out-of-touch, too country club, too materialistic, etc. And this wasn't just because of huge tuition bills, although that's part of it. So after touring two New England private schools, each which claim to be very different, I can't really say I can identify true differentiators. They were both beautiful, seemingly warm and nurturing, incredibly impressive academically, thorough with their presentations, communication and openness. But perhaps I say this because they most likely are out of reach for us and I'm not sure either would even accept Ben.
But I do believe home life and family experiences shape a child too. Ben is excited to do mommy homework with me, circuit boards with his dad and go to the ATM (thank you nana and papa conway). He's learning all the time. A friend's husband said the most important year is the one your son is in right now. How very true for school and life. Live and learn to the highest today--right now. So, I will continue my search (because sometimes knowing what you don't want helps you find what you do), but I'm also going to balance that with a live-in-the-moment attitude that lets our family enjoy Ben's great kindergarten experience.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Sunday, November 8, 2009
It is Do-able
As part of my quest for inspiration, I've been attending a new church over the past year that has beautiful music, thoughtful, provocative sermons, a non-political call to action about volunteerism and a friendly atmosphere. Oh, and I must mention (how could I forget) the childcare and children's worship, which give me about 45 minutes of peace from my children every Sunday.
After a year of church-going with the Protestants, I'm still not comfortable with evangelical, conversion-oriented religion despite being in the business of persuasion. Perhaps it's my Catholic heritage, or just my unease with organized religion and pure faith-based thinking, but it makes me cringe, which is why I was pleasantly surprised to hear This American Life's show this week "Bait and Switch." One of the interviewees was a preacher who Ira Glass said is all bait and no switch. This preacher promotes what he calls do-able evangelicalism, which entails observing others, praying for them quietly and listening to them (not a hard-line conversion approach to faith, which he says is the equivalent of the crash diet--people can only keep it up for a few days and then go back to their old habits). A good friend of mine uses the term role-modeling to describe her approach to her faith and religion, which I also like.
As for the do-able approach, it's not about the number of converts, or even about the end result, but rather it's about just getting to the start line and exploring what might happen next. What often does happen next is a level of openness, frankness and trust is established that can then pave the way for more thoughtful discussions around whatever the topic at hand may be, which might be what car to buy or what church you attend. And while there might not be a conversion taking place ever, at least there is a discussion. It struck me that the principles for do-able evangelicalism could and should apply to so many other areas in my life--relationships, friendships, my PR and social media work, even my parenting.
How often does someone ask "How are you?" and then actually wait and listen for the response. How often does one sit back and observe and truly listen to their kids? How often do you ask your partner about their day’s challenge(s), where they need your support most? Well, as far as I can tell, all of these things are do-able, and I should do them more often.
After a year of church-going with the Protestants, I'm still not comfortable with evangelical, conversion-oriented religion despite being in the business of persuasion. Perhaps it's my Catholic heritage, or just my unease with organized religion and pure faith-based thinking, but it makes me cringe, which is why I was pleasantly surprised to hear This American Life's show this week "Bait and Switch." One of the interviewees was a preacher who Ira Glass said is all bait and no switch. This preacher promotes what he calls do-able evangelicalism, which entails observing others, praying for them quietly and listening to them (not a hard-line conversion approach to faith, which he says is the equivalent of the crash diet--people can only keep it up for a few days and then go back to their old habits). A good friend of mine uses the term role-modeling to describe her approach to her faith and religion, which I also like.
As for the do-able approach, it's not about the number of converts, or even about the end result, but rather it's about just getting to the start line and exploring what might happen next. What often does happen next is a level of openness, frankness and trust is established that can then pave the way for more thoughtful discussions around whatever the topic at hand may be, which might be what car to buy or what church you attend. And while there might not be a conversion taking place ever, at least there is a discussion. It struck me that the principles for do-able evangelicalism could and should apply to so many other areas in my life--relationships, friendships, my PR and social media work, even my parenting.
How often does someone ask "How are you?" and then actually wait and listen for the response. How often does one sit back and observe and truly listen to their kids? How often do you ask your partner about their day’s challenge(s), where they need your support most? Well, as far as I can tell, all of these things are do-able, and I should do them more often.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Introduction
I have ten minutes to write my first blog. So, here it goes. I have two boys--Ben, 4 1/2 and Colin, 2. They consume my time, energy and love these days. I always wanted to be a journalist, but took the path of lowly PR professional even after majoring in journalism. In this economy, my dream part-time, work-from-home position was eliminated. So, now 100 percent of my life is directed at my boys, including my husband Tom. Aside from occasional emails, I haven't done much writing. So, blogging is my attempt at turning out new ideas, sharing my deepest fears and insecurities (there are many) and hashing out my latest motherhood dilemma (too numerous to count). Perhaps I'll trade in my PR, jargon voice for my true inner voice. The title refers to all the big and small joys and challenges life offers. We all need a little inspiration to get us through each day. While my children are my inspiration on good days, lately I've also turned to daily coffee runs, exercise twice a week, The New Yorker, trashy TV, the occasional pedicure, the even more infrequent date night with my hubby (it's been November since we last went out), companionship from good friends and beautiful music at church. That's it for now. I have an hour to shower and then I need to wake the kids up to get to Ben’s therapy session on time. Colin and I then get to run fun errands for an hour-and-a-half. Better pack good snacks for him.
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